KAEYA

[third_alternative]

shitpost tbd

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w1, thursday

[third_alternative]

[ hey what's up kaeya

literally

cuz while he's just walkin around, he might hear some creaking, some scuffling, and something that sounds like someone making strangled noises. a few pebbles may even fall around him.

why? well. Rex is on a balcony of one of the decrepit buildings just overhead. He's down on all fours, tongue stuck on a salt pillar, while his daemon, in hawk form, pecks furiously at the back of his head. ]

first impressions am i right

[callalilies]

[ kaeya glances upwards, polaris on his head perched as an ermine and just having a chill little ride until they see... rex? and his tongue is??? stuck???? ]

You know, when they say to take in the scenery, they don't mean it literally.

[ he sighs a bit and watches rex struggle for a moment before scratching the back of his head. well. ]

I'll be up in a minute.

[ hmhm time to find the entrance. or maybe climb up... climbing up might be faster. ]

[third_alternative]

Eh ah waiah eh uh ooh eh!! Ah!!

[ bless his heart, he's trying. so is his daemon, pecking at him even harder now that someone else has noticed his stupidity ]

[callalilies]

[ he really is trying. yikes.

a piece of the building comes off in his hand the moment he tries to find a hand hold and he pales just a bit. ]

Mmm. Nope.

[ kaeya decides to take the stairs, polaris scampering ahead of him and the first to arrive as kaeya steps onto the balcony. ]

We should pour a liquid on your tongue to unstick you... something room temperature should do since it isn't ice.

[ he's patting himself down give him a sec. ]

Kids will lick anything... Barbatos...

[third_alternative]

Ey!! Ah ah a eh!

[ in the process of trying to say...whatever that was, he pulls his head back a little too far and yelps in pain at the tug on his tongue. ]

[callalilies]

Hey, hey, easy... I'm joking. But unfortunately all I have is this bottle I found in the ruins of one of those buildings. It's alcohol, but it should hopefully unstick you.

[ he shakes it in its opaque bottle. ]

It's all I've got, but it should do the trick!

[third_alternative]

Weh?

[ he stares at Kaeya expectantly. ]

[callalilies]

Mmm, it'd be such a shame to waste it though.

[ let him squirm for a bit. ]

[third_alternative]

[ incoherent noises of outrage while he tries to angle himself so that he can use one of his legs to kick out at Kaeya!!! ]

[callalilies]

Ah!

[ hey! he'll take the kick, oof, and polaris whines a bit, which causes him to turn and soothe softly ]

Sorry, sorry--[ not at u tho ] Now how about this. Once I let you go, you tell me just how you got yourself into this mess. Deal?

[third_alternative]

[ his brows knit together--you would really only free him in exchange for deets?--but he nods. or like. nods as much as he can with his tongue stuck like this. ]

[callalilies]

[ not usually, but he really needs to know why the hell you licked this salty pillar, bro. anyways, he uncaps the booze and pours a little--sharp, definitely old, and room temp on his tongue.

which should hopefully unstick him from the dehydrating properties of the salt.

heeeeeere it comes. ]

w3, monday

[third_alternative]

[ well. rex is just wandering about town and when he spots kaeya in the courtyard, he pauses for a moment and then comes to some kind of decision, because he approaches him. ]

Sticking close to the water, huh?

[callalilies]

Hello, Rex. Yes, we're having a bit of a break after trawling the market.

[ he pats polaris in wolf form, whose head is resting in his lap. polaris glances up at the pat and his tail thumps at the company. ]

[third_alternative]

[ Here it comes!! The alcohol successfully detaches Rex's tongue from the salt, which is good because he immediately stumbles back and falls over on his ass, gagging from the horrid combination of salt and alcohol. ]

[third_alternative]

[ Amparo, in dog form, also wags and thumps her tail at the company!! ]

Oh yeah? Find anything you like out there?

[callalilies]

[ oh hey time for sniffs, polaris padding to meet amparo in the middle. he looks pretty pleased. ]

A book in the market, a rather neat bar, some interesting little food carts... that's about it. Did you go exploring?

[third_alternative]

[ well if polaris is going to start sniffs, then Amparo is certainly going to reciprocate!! god kaeya your slutty daemon ]

Psh, are you kidding me? This is like the first place we've been that actually has stuff and people in it, of course I went exploring.

What kind of book? Are you a big reader?

[callalilies]

It's called Tusk Love. It's not the world's greatest piece of literature, but it's certainly entertaining. I was mostly just looking for amusement and it was free so.

[ he leans back. ] What did you find? [ patting the seat beside him ]

[third_alternative]

[ Takes a seat ]

Electricity. Can you believe it? Finally, a place with stuff more complex than just something with an on and off switch!

Also, food. Real food.

[callalilies]

[ kaeya's glad it's not him! but at the same time he mourns whatever is left, swishing it around. ]

Did it taste like it's gone off?

[ just curious. ]

Mm, doesn't matter. So. Why'd you do it?

[third_alternative]

Blegh, how the heck should I know?!

[ but then he pauses and has the good sense to at least look kind of embarrassed about it... ]

...I was arguing with Amparo. She said I'd get stuck licking the salt, I said that's only with ice, and I decided to prove it to her.

[ In hawk form, Amparo squawks very disappointedly at him. ]

[callalilies]

[ taking a sip as he explains. blegh is right, it's off. he keeps sipping. ]

Why would you lick something that's been supposedly under the sea for... Archons know how long? What if you'd just died?

[ raising! a brow. ]

[third_alternative]

What? Why would I die? It's just salt.