VAN ZIEKS

[third_alternative]

oh i GOTTA find the perfect shitpost for this one

Comments

[third_alternative]

[ he'll have mercy on you and let you go ]

Huh. I have no idea who that is--I never even met the guy.

Any idea where his, uh, body might be?

[winebar]

I did not speak to him either. It seems many others also did not have the chance.

No one has found his body yet. We cannot even confirm that he is dead.

[third_alternative]

Staying optimistic, huh? Didn't know you had it in you.

[winebar]

I am simply waiting for the proper evidence.

[third_alternative]

Yeah? Any idea where to find it?

[winebar]

If I knew that I would already have it.

[third_alternative]

Isn't getting evidence part of your job, Mr. Prosecutor?

[winebar]

No. Scotland Yard is in charge of investigation.

[third_alternative]

Do you see a Scotland Yard here?

[winebar]

I see several members of law enforcement with varying levels of credibility.

[Rex included.]

[third_alternative]

Exactly. You're just gonna leave it all up to us to find the evidence?

[winebar]

Consider it a chance to prove your competency.

[So yes.]

[third_alternative]

What do I get if I do?

[winebar]

You are asking me what you get for doing your job?

[third_alternative]

I mean...yeah?

Isn't that how jobs normally work?

[winebar]

I'm not the one employing you.

[third_alternative]

But you could be.

[winebar]

If you want me to employ you, you aught to seem more employable.

[third_alternative]

Hey, come on! Who could be more qualified than the guy who's saved the entire planet like at least ten times over by now?!

[winebar]

A man with the proper paperwork to prove it.

[third_alternative]

Psh, there's plenty of paperwork to prove it, you can just look at any newspaper where I'm from.

It's not like I carry all that around with me every day, though. I don't usually need to back up my credentials. I just show up and everyone knows I've got it handled.

[winebar]

You seem to be quite adept at making up excuses. A shame I don't have need of something like that.

[third_alternative]

Oh yeah? Well, where's your paperwork, then?

[winebar]

My paperwork for what?

[third_alternative]

For being qualified! To be a--you know, prosecutor lawboy or whatever.