VAN ZIEKS

[third_alternative]

oh i GOTTA find the perfect shitpost for this one

Comments

[winebar]

It vibrates the most when I feed it baked beans so I think it either hates them or they are its favorite.
[Apparently either option works for him.]

It can move around and it has a tongue and teeth.

[winebar]

You can tell them whatever you want I am certain they will not be surprised to know that is what I think of them.

[third_alternative]

Really?

...what about that girl--Susato?

[third_alternative]

So you just...have a pet piece of furniture now?

...y'know, I didn't take you for such a softie.

[third_alternative]

Are you so sure about that? I don't know, Rameel's kind of a wildcard...

[winebar]

I have made my displeasure at their disposition known to them.

[winebar]

[Van Zieks closes his fucking eyes because he can't argue this apparently.]

It's not as if it requires much upkeep.

[winebar]

.... She should not be aware of the details, I do not think.

[third_alternative]

What do you mean, 'details'?

[ it's literally just "sholmes and van zieks got smoochy for a few days," what details are there that aren't covered by that? ]

[third_alternative]

Aside from foraging for beans.

So, what'd you name it?

[winebar]

[THOSE.]

She knows something occurred between us that caused some sort of disagreement.


When the curse worse off I had her give Sholmes a note ordering him to not speak to me.

[winebar]

I have not named it.

[third_alternative]

[ he winces a little and sucks in air at that. damn, he didn't know he caused THAT much of a mess between them. ]

Oh. Got it.

[third_alternative]

What? Come on, man, that's like rule numero uno for owning pets--ya gotta name them!

[winebar]

[It's fine van Zieks is just very dramatic.]

... Sholmes promptly ignored my note. It is fine. We are friends now.

[winebar]

It's not my pet. it simply lives in my room.

[third_alternative]

[ ...oh. snort. ]

How are you guys grandpa age but act like you're in kindergarten?

[third_alternative]

Uh-huh. That's what they all say.

So, I'm thinking...Toothy? Trunky? Come on, you know this thing better than I do.

[winebar]

[HELLO? Now I'm glad Rex is dead.]

Thirty-three and thirty-four are hardly the age one would ascribe to grandfathers!

[third_alternative]

[ are you tho ]

Well, you sure dress as stuffy as one!

[winebar]

[A little.]

How many times do I have to say that this is a normal manner of dress among the aristocracy where I am from?

[third_alternative]

Then I guess everyone in the aristocracy is a grandpa! [ shrug, he doesn't make the rules! ]