There was nothing to reply to. You said you were trying. So I kept waiting to see proof.
[ and then...he didn't. he saw kotetsu caring about, talking about, everyone else in sight, but never him. he saw kotetsu curling up around sholmes constantly, like a boy he supposedly cared about hadn't been murdered in an unsolved case.
and what he sees now...is a single letter from him, carried around in kotetsu's pocket for weeks. ]
There's nothing I can do to prove it to you, is there? Everything you saw... You're right. It didn't seem like I cared.
[ but he did. he's always cared. rex has always been a piece of what's kept him going. and yet... now that they're here, he has nothing to show for it. all he did was continue to hurt the kid, let him down, let him feel neglected and alone.
there is absolutely nothing he can do to make up for his missteps other than try to fix what he can and get rex back to where and what he should. this weight is heavy. ]
[ He wants to say no. He ought to. But staring at the letter in his hands... ]
...I don't know.
[ Because the truth is, all Rex wants, more desperately than anything, is to be cared about. He's been watching people forge bonds and display how much they love one another, through good and bad, for weeks on end. Weeks where all he had was a collection of people that hardly knew him at all, and no memories of anyone ever caring for him in the least. And he could have tried, but--but then--he doesn't want to turn around and one day discover he was everyone's second. or third. or last. fine enough, but to be discarded at a moment's notice when it's convenient.
Rex slides down to sit on the dusty ground. He wants this so, so badly. but he can't let himself get burned again. ]
[ And now... Kotetsu knows he has no right to reach out to him. He looks at Rex with such a sad expression. He can't fix this. He can't do anything to right this wrong that he's done against this boy. ]
Then give me time. I'll try what I can to show you I care. Not about everyone as a collective, but you, personally, Rex. Maybe I can't fix this... Maybe you won't believe me. But I want to try anyway.
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[ and then...he didn't. he saw kotetsu caring about, talking about, everyone else in sight, but never him. he saw kotetsu curling up around sholmes constantly, like a boy he supposedly cared about hadn't been murdered in an unsolved case.
and what he sees now...is a single letter from him, carried around in kotetsu's pocket for weeks. ]
no subject
[ but he did. he's always cared. rex has always been a piece of what's kept him going. and yet... now that they're here, he has nothing to show for it. all he did was continue to hurt the kid, let him down, let him feel neglected and alone.
there is absolutely nothing he can do to make up for his missteps other than try to fix what he can and get rex back to where and what he should. this weight is heavy. ]
no subject
...I don't know.
[ Because the truth is, all Rex wants, more desperately than anything, is to be cared about. He's been watching people forge bonds and display how much they love one another, through good and bad, for weeks on end. Weeks where all he had was a collection of people that hardly knew him at all, and no memories of anyone ever caring for him in the least. And he could have tried, but--but then--he doesn't want to turn around and one day discover he was everyone's second. or third. or last. fine enough, but to be discarded at a moment's notice when it's convenient.
Rex slides down to sit on the dusty ground. He wants this so, so badly. but he can't let himself get burned again. ]
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Then give me time. I'll try what I can to show you I care. Not about everyone as a collective, but you, personally, Rex. Maybe I can't fix this... Maybe you won't believe me. But I want to try anyway.
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...fine. One last chance.
[ His knees are brought up to his chest, head resting on them. He lets the letter drift out of his grip. ]
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Thank you. Let me figure out how to do that for you.
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